Cross-reference through Repetition

Both of the following revisions are taken from one chapter of a dissertation by a Korean-speaking postgraduate student of Business Studies:

Original Revision
Almost everyone agrees that the state has a role to play, but there have been intense debates on how the state should act. Almost everyone agrees that the state has a role to play, but there have been intense debates on what that role should be.

Here, repetition of role makes the contrast between 'agreement' and 'disagreement' clearer and more pointed.

This shows that the resource allocation provided by the market may not be efficient, and thus provides a rationale for government intervention. This shows that the resource allocation provided by the market may not be efficient, an inefficiency that provides a rationale for government intervention.

In the original it is not exactly clear what provides a rationale for government intervention: the revision shows clearly that this is the (possible) inefficiency already mentioned.

27th April 1999

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 Consultant: Tim Johns