<SPEECH 1><ACT 1><SCENE 2><7%>
<FALSTAFF>	<8%>
	Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my water?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 2><ACT 1><SCENE 2><7%>
<FALSTAFF>	<8%>
	Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: the brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not able to invent anything that tends to laughter, more than I invent or is invented on me: I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men. I do here walk before thee like a sow that hath overwhelmed all her litter but one. If the prince put thee into my service for any other reason than to set me off, why then I have no judgment. Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never manned with an agate till now; but I will set you neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back again to your master, for a jewel; the juvenal, the prince your master, whose chin is not yet fledged. I will sooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand than he shall get one on his cheek; and yet he will not stick to say, his face is a face-royal: God may finish it when he will, it is not a hair amiss yet: he may keep it still as a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of it; and yet he will be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, but he is almost out of mine, I can assure him. What said Master Dombledon about the satin for my short cloak and my slops?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 3><ACT 1><SCENE 2><8%>
<FALSTAFF>	<9%>
	Let him be damned like the glutton! may his tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! a rascally yea-forsooth knave! to bear a gentleman in hand, and then stand upon security. The whoreson smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is thorough with them in honest taking up, then they must stand upon security. I had as lief they would put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with security. I looked a' should have sent me two and twenty yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he sends me security. Well, he may sleep in security; for he hath the horn of abundance, and the lightness of his wife shines through it: and yet cannot he see, though he have his own lanthorn to light him. Where's Bardolph?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 4><ACT 1><SCENE 2><9%>
<FALSTAFF>	<10%>
	I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse in Smithfield: an I could get me but a wife in the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived.

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 5><ACT 1><SCENE 2><9%>
<FALSTAFF>	<10%>
	Wait close; I will not see him.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 6><ACT 1><SCENE 2><9%>
<FALSTAFF>	<10%>
	Boy, tell him I am deaf.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 7><ACT 1><SCENE 2><9%>
<FALSTAFF>	<10%>
	What! a young knave, and beg! Is there not wars? is there not employment? doth not the king lack subjects? do not the rebels want soldiers? Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side, were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 8><ACT 1><SCENE 2><10%>
<FALSTAFF>	<11%>
	Why, sir, did I say you were an honest man? setting my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had lied in my throat if I had said so.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 9><ACT 1><SCENE 2><10%>
<FALSTAFF>	<11%>
	I give thee leave to tell me so! I lay aside that which grows to me! If thou gett'st any leave of me, hang me: if thou takest leave, thou wert better be hanged. You hunt-counter: hence! avaunt!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 10><ACT 1><SCENE 2><10%>
<FALSTAFF>	<11%>
	My good lord! God give your lordship good time of day. I am glad to see your lordship abroad; I heard say your lordship was sick: I hope your lordship goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not clean past your youth, hath yet some smack of age in you, some relish of the saltness of time; and I most humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverend care of your health.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 11><ACT 1><SCENE 2><10%>
<FALSTAFF>	<11%>
	An't please your lordship, I hear his majesty is returned with some discomfort from Wales.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 12><ACT 1><SCENE 2><10%>
<FALSTAFF>	<11%>
	And I hear, moreover, his highness is fallen into this same whoreson apoplexy.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 13><ACT 1><SCENE 2><11%>
<FALSTAFF>	<11%>
	This apoplexy is, as I take it, a kind of lethargy, an't please your lordship; a kind of sleeping in the blood, a whoreson tingling.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 14><ACT 1><SCENE 2><11%>
<FALSTAFF>	<12%>
	It hath its original from much grief, from study and perturbation of the brain. I have read the cause of his effects in Galen: it is a kind of deafness.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 15><ACT 1><SCENE 2><11%>
<FALSTAFF>	<12%>
	Very well, my lord, very well: rather, an't please you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 16><ACT 1><SCENE 2><11%>
<FALSTAFF>	<12%>
	I am as poor as Job, my lord, but not so patient: your lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me in respect of poverty; but how I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a scruple, or indeed a scruple itself.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 17><ACT 1><SCENE 2><11%>
<FALSTAFF>	<12%>
	As I was then advised by my learned counsel in the laws of this land-service, I did not come.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 18><ACT 1><SCENE 2><11%>
<FALSTAFF>	<12%>
	He that buckles him in my belt cannot live in less.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 19><ACT 1><SCENE 2><12%>
<FALSTAFF>	<12%>
	I would it were otherwise: I would my means were greater and my waist slenderer.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 20><ACT 1><SCENE 2><12%>
<FALSTAFF>	<12%>
	The young prince hath misled me: I am the fellow with the great belly, and he my dog.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 21><ACT 1><SCENE 2><12%>
<FALSTAFF>	<13%>
	My lord!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 22><ACT 1><SCENE 2><12%>
<FALSTAFF>	<13%>
	To wake a wolf is as bad as to smell a fox.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 23><ACT 1><SCENE 2><12%>
<FALSTAFF>	<13%>
	A wassail candle, my lord; all tallow: if I did say of wax, my growth would approve the truth.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 24><ACT 1><SCENE 2><12%>
<FALSTAFF>	<13%>
	His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 25><ACT 1><SCENE 2><12%>
<FALSTAFF>	<13%>
	Not so, my lord; your ill angel is light, but I hope he that looks upon me will take me without weighing: and yet, in some respects, I grant, I cannot go, I cannot tell. Virtue is of so little regard in these costermonger times that true valour is turned bear-herd: pregnancy is made a tapster, and hath his quick wit wasted in giving reckonings: all the other gifts appertinent to man, as the malice of this age shapes them, are not worth a gooseberry. You that are old consider not the capacities of us that are young; you measure the heat of our livers with the bitterness of your galls; and we that are in the vaward of our youth, I must confess, are wags too.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 26><ACT 1><SCENE 2><13%>
<FALSTAFF>	<14%>
	My lord, I was born about three of the clock in the afternoon, with a white head, and something a round belly. For my voice, I have lost it with hollaing, and singing of anthems. To approve my youth further, I will not: the truth is, I am only old in judgment and understanding; and he that will caper with me for a thousand marks, let him lend me the money, and have at him! For the box o' the ear that the prince gave you, he gave it like a rude prince, and you took it like a sensible lord. I have checked him for it, and the young lion repents; marry, not in ashes and sackcloth, but in new silk and old sack.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 27><ACT 1><SCENE 2><13%>
<FALSTAFF>	<14%>
	God send the companion a better prince! I cannot rid my hands of him.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 28><ACT 1><SCENE 2><13%>
<FALSTAFF>	<14%>
	Yea; I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look you pray, all you that kiss my lady Peace at home, that our armies join not in a hot day; for, by the Lord, I take but two shirts out with me, and I mean not to sweat extraordinarily: if it be a hot day, and I brandish anything but my bottle, I would I might never spit white again. There is not a dangerous action can peep out his head but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last ever. But it was always yet the trick of our English nation, if they have a good thing, to make it too common. If you will needs say I am an old man, you should give me rest. I would to God my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is: I were better to be eaten to death with rust than to be scoured to nothing with perpetual motion.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 29><ACT 1><SCENE 2><14%>
<FALSTAFF>	<15%>
	Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to furnish me forth?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 30><ACT 1><SCENE 2><14%>
<FALSTAFF>	<15%>
	If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A man can no more separate age and covetousness than he can part young limbs and lechery; but the gout galls the one, and the pox pinches the other; and so both the degrees prevent my curses. Boy!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 31><ACT 1><SCENE 2><14%>
<FALSTAFF>	<15%>
	What money is in my purse?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 32><ACT 1><SCENE 2><14%>
<FALSTAFF>	<15%>
	I can get no remedy against this consumption of the purse: borrowing only lingers and lingers it out, but the disease is incurable. Go bear this letter to my Lord of Lancaster; this to the prince; this to the Earl of Westmoreland; and this to old Mistress Ursula, whom I have weekly sworn to marry since I perceived the first white hair on my chin. About it: you know where to find me. <STAGE DIR>
<Exit Page.>
</STAGE DIR> A pox of this gout! or, a gout of this pox! for the one or the other plays the rogue with my great toe. 'Tis no matter if I do halt; I have the wars for my colour, and my pension shall seem the more reasonable. A good wit will make use of anything; I will turn diseases to commodity.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 33><ACT 2><SCENE 1><19%>
<FALSTAFF>	<20%>
	How now! whose mare's dead? what's the matter?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 34><ACT 2><SCENE 1><19%>
<FALSTAFF>	<20%>
	Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph: cut me off the villain's head; throw the quean in the channel.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 35><ACT 2><SCENE 1><20%>
<FALSTAFF>	<21%>
	Keep them off, Bardolph.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 36><ACT 2><SCENE 1><20%>
<FALSTAFF>	<21%>
	Away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 37><ACT 2><SCENE 1><20%>
<FALSTAFF>	<21%>
	I think I am as like to ride the mare if I have any vantage of ground to get up.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 38><ACT 2><SCENE 1><21%>
<FALSTAFF>	<21%>
	What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 39><ACT 2><SCENE 1><21%>
<FALSTAFF>	<22%>
	My lord, this is a poor mad soul; and she says up and down the town that her eldest son is like you. She hath been in good case, and the truth is, poverty hath distracted her. But for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may have redress against them.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 40><ACT 2><SCENE 1><22%>
<FALSTAFF>	<23%>
	My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply. You call honourable boldness impudent sauciness: if a man will make curtsy, and say nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my humble duty remembered, I will not be your suitor: I say to you, I do desire deliverance from these officers, being upon hasty employment in the king's affairs.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 41><ACT 2><SCENE 1><22%>
<FALSTAFF>	<23%>
	Come hither, hostess.
<STAGE DIR>
<Taking her aside.>
</STAGE DIR>

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 42><ACT 2><SCENE 1><22%>
<FALSTAFF>	<23%>
	As I am a gentleman.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 43><ACT 2><SCENE 1><22%>
<FALSTAFF>	<23%>
	As I am a gentleman. Come, no more words of it.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 44><ACT 2><SCENE 1><22%>
<FALSTAFF>	<23%>
	Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking: and for thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the Prodigal, or the German hunting in water-work, is worth a thousand of these bed-hangings and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound if thou canst. Come, an it were not for thy humours, there is not a better wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and draw thy action. Come, thou must not be in this humour with me; dost not know me? Come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 45><ACT 2><SCENE 1><23%>
<FALSTAFF>	<24%>
	Let it alone; I'll make other shift: you'll be a fool still.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 46><ACT 2><SCENE 1><23%>
<FALSTAFF>	<24%>
	Will I live? <STAGE DIR>
<To Bardolph.>
</STAGE DIR> Go, with her, with her; hook on, hook on.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 47><ACT 2><SCENE 1><23%>
<FALSTAFF>	<24%>
	No more words; let's have her.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 48><ACT 2><SCENE 1><23%>
<FALSTAFF>	<24%>
	What's the news, my good lord?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 49><ACT 2><SCENE 1><23%>
<FALSTAFF>	<24%>
	I hope, my lord, all's well: what is the news, my lord?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 50><ACT 2><SCENE 1><23%>
<FALSTAFF>	<24%>
	Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 51><ACT 2><SCENE 1><24%>
<FALSTAFF>	<24%>
	My lord!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 52><ACT 2><SCENE 1><24%>
<FALSTAFF>	<24%>
	Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to dinner?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 53><ACT 2><SCENE 1><24%>
<FALSTAFF>	<25%>
	Will you sup with me, Master Gower?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 54><ACT 2><SCENE 1><24%>
<FALSTAFF>	<25%>
	Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a fool that taught them me. This is the right fencing grace, my lord; tap for tap, and so part fair.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 55><ACT 2><SCENE 4><32%>
<FALSTAFF>	<33%>
	When Arthur first in court—Empty the jordan.—<STAGE DIR>
<Exit First Drawer.>
</STAGE DIR>—And was a worthy king. How now, Mistress Doll!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 56><ACT 2><SCENE 4><33%>
<FALSTAFF>	<33%>
	So is all her sect; an they be once in a calm they are sick.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 57><ACT 2><SCENE 4><33%>
<FALSTAFF>	<33%>
	You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 58><ACT 2><SCENE 4><33%>
<FALSTAFF>	<33%>
	If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll: we catch of you, Doll, we catch of you; grant that, my poor virtue, grant that.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 59><ACT 2><SCENE 4><33%>
<FALSTAFF>	<34%>
	'Your brooches, pearls, and owches:'—for to serve bravely is to come halting off you know: to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon the charged chambers bravely,—
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 60><ACT 2><SCENE 4><34%>
<FALSTAFF>	<35%>
	Dost thou hear, hostess?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 61><ACT 2><SCENE 4><34%>
<FALSTAFF>	<35%>
	Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 62><ACT 2><SCENE 4><34%>
<FALSTAFF>	<35%>
	He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheater, i' faith; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound: he will not swagger with a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance. Call him up, drawer.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 63><ACT 2><SCENE 4><35%>
<FALSTAFF>	<35%>
	Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you with a cup of sack: do you discharge upon mine hostess.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 64><ACT 2><SCENE 4><35%>
<FALSTAFF>	<36%>
	She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly offend her.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 65><ACT 2><SCENE 4><35%>
<FALSTAFF>	<36%>
	No more, Pistol: I would not have you go off here. Discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 66><ACT 2><SCENE 4><36%>
<FALSTAFF>	<37%>
	Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 67><ACT 2><SCENE 4><37%>
<FALSTAFF>	<38%>
	Pistol, I would be quiet.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 68><ACT 2><SCENE 4><37%>
<FALSTAFF>	<38%>
	Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shovegroat shilling: nay, an a' do nothing but speak nothing, a' shall be nothing here.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 69><ACT 2><SCENE 4><37%>
<FALSTAFF>	<38%>
	Give me my rapier, boy.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 70><ACT 2><SCENE 4><37%>
<FALSTAFF>	<38%>
	Get you down stairs.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 71><ACT 2><SCENE 4><38%>
<FALSTAFF>	<38%>
	Have you turned him out o' doors?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 72><ACT 2><SCENE 4><38%>
<FALSTAFF>	<39%>
	A rascal, to brave me!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 73><ACT 2><SCENE 4><38%>
<FALSTAFF>	<39%>
	A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 74><ACT 2><SCENE 4><38%>
<FALSTAFF>	<39%>
	Let them play. Play, sirs. Sit on my knee, Doll. A rascal bragging slave! the rogue fled from me like quicksilver.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 75><ACT 2><SCENE 4><38%>
<FALSTAFF>	<39%>
	Peace, good Doll! do not speak like a death's head: do not bid me remember mine end.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 76><ACT 2><SCENE 4><39%>
<FALSTAFF>	<39%>
	A good shallow young fellow: a' would have made a good pantler, a' would have chipped bread well.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 77><ACT 2><SCENE 4><39%>
<FALSTAFF>	<39%>
	He a good wit! hang him, baboon! his wit is as thick as Tewksbury mustard: there is no more conceit in him than is in a mallet.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 78><ACT 2><SCENE 4><39%>
<FALSTAFF>	<39%>
	Because their legs are both of a bigness, and he plays at quoits well, and eats conger and fennel, and drinks off candles' ends for flapdragons, and rides the wild mare with the boys, and jumps upon joint-stools, and swears with a good grace, and wears his boots very smooth, like unto the sign of the leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet stories; and such other gambol faculties a' has, that show a weak mind and an able body, for the which the prince admits him: for the prince himself is such another; the weight of a hair will turn the scales between their avoirdupois.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 79><ACT 2><SCENE 4><39%>
<FALSTAFF>	<40%>
	Kiss me, Doll.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 80><ACT 2><SCENE 4><40%>
<FALSTAFF>	<40%>
	Thou dost give me flattering busses.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 81><ACT 2><SCENE 4><40%>
<FALSTAFF>	<40%>
	I am old, I am old.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 82><ACT 2><SCENE 4><40%>
<FALSTAFF>	<40%>
	What stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive money o' Thursday; thou shalt have a cap to-morrow. A merry song! come: it grows late; we'll to bed. Thou'lt forget me when I am gone.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 83><ACT 2><SCENE 4><40%>
<FALSTAFF>	<41%>
	Some sack, Francis!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 84><ACT 2><SCENE 4><40%>
<FALSTAFF>	<41%>
	Ha! a bastard son of the king's? And art not thou Poins his brother?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 85><ACT 2><SCENE 4><40%>
<FALSTAFF>	<41%>
	A better than thou: I am a gentleman; thou art a drawer.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 86><ACT 2><SCENE 4><40%>
<FALSTAFF>	<41%>
	Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood <STAGE DIR>
<pointing to Doll],>
</STAGE DIR> thou art welcome.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 87><ACT 2><SCENE 4><41%>
<FALSTAFF>	<41%>
	Didst thou hear me?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 88><ACT 2><SCENE 4><41%>
<FALSTAFF>	<41%>
	No, no, no; not so; I did not think thou wast within hearing.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 89><ACT 2><SCENE 4><41%>
<FALSTAFF>	<41%>
	No abuse, Hal, o' mine honour; no abuse.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 90><ACT 2><SCENE 4><41%>
<FALSTAFF>	<42%>
	No abuse, Hal.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 91><ACT 2><SCENE 4><41%>
<FALSTAFF>	<42%>
	No abuse, Ned, in the world; honest Ned, none. I dispraised him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall in love with him; in which doing I have done the part of a careful friend and a true subject, and thy father is to give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal; none, Ned, none: no, faith, boys, none.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 92><ACT 2><SCENE 4><41%>
<FALSTAFF>	<42%>
	The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable; and his face is Lucifer's privykitchen, where he doth nothing but roast maltworms. For the boy, there is a good angel about him; but the devil outbids him too.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 93><ACT 2><SCENE 4><42%>
<FALSTAFF>	<42%>
	For one of them, she is in hell already, and burns poor souls. For the other, I owe her money; and whether she be damned for that, I know not.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 94><ACT 2><SCENE 4><42%>
<FALSTAFF>	<42%>
	No, I think thou art not; I think thou art quit for that. Marry, there is another indictment upon thee, for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the law; for the which I think thou wilt howl.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 95><ACT 2><SCENE 4><42%>
<FALSTAFF>	<42%>
	His Grace says that which his flesh rebels against.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 96><ACT 2><SCENE 4><43%>
<FALSTAFF>	<43%>
	Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night, and we must hence and leave it unpicked. <STAGE DIR>
<Knocking within.>
</STAGE DIR> More knocking at the door!

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 97><ACT 2><SCENE 4><43%>
<FALSTAFF>	<43%>
<STAGE DIR>
<To the Page].>
</STAGE DIR> Pay the musicians, sirrah. Farewell, hostess; farewell, Doll. You see, my good wenches, how men of merit are sought after: the undeserver may sleep when the man of action is called on. Farewell, good wenches. If I be not sent away post, I will see you again ere I go.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 98><ACT 2><SCENE 4><43%>
<FALSTAFF>	<44%>
	Farewell, farewell.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 99><ACT 3><SCENE 2><49%>
<FALSTAFF>	<50%>
	I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert Shallow. Master Surecard, as I think.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 100><ACT 3><SCENE 2><49%>
<FALSTAFF>	<50%>
	Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of the peace.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 101><ACT 3><SCENE 2><49%>
<FALSTAFF>	<50%>
	Fie! this is hot weather, gentlemen.
	Have you provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 102><ACT 3><SCENE 2><49%>
<FALSTAFF>	<50%>
	Let me see them, I beseech you.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 103><ACT 3><SCENE 2><50%>
<FALSTAFF>	<50%>
	Is thy name Mouldy?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 104><ACT 3><SCENE 2><50%>
<FALSTAFF>	<50%>
	'Tis the more time thou wert used.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 105><ACT 3><SCENE 2><50%>
<FALSTAFF>	<50%>
	Prick him.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 106><ACT 3><SCENE 2><50%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	Go to: peace, Mouldy! you shall go. Mouldy, it is time you were spent.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 107><ACT 3><SCENE 2><50%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under: he's like to be a cold soldier.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 108><ACT 3><SCENE 2><50%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	Shadow, whose son art thou?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 109><ACT 3><SCENE 2><50%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	Thy mother's son! like enough, and thy father's shadow: so the son of the female is the shadow of the male: it is often so, indeed; but not of the father's substance.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 110><ACT 3><SCENE 2><51%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	Shadow will serve for summer; prick him, for we have a number of shadows to fill up the muster-book.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 111><ACT 3><SCENE 2><51%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	Where's he?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 112><ACT 3><SCENE 2><51%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	Is thy name Wart?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 113><ACT 3><SCENE 2><51%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	Thou art a very ragged wart.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 114><ACT 3><SCENE 2><51%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon his back, and the whole frame stands upon pins: prick him no more.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 115><ACT 3><SCENE 2><51%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	What trade art thou, Feeble?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 116><ACT 3><SCENE 2><51%>
<FALSTAFF>	<51%>
	You may; but if he had been a man's tailor he'd have pricked you. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's battle as thou hast done in a woman's petticoat?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 117><ACT 3><SCENE 2><51%>
<FALSTAFF>	<52%>
	Well said, good woman's tailor! well said, courageous Feeble! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse. Prick the woman's tailor; well, Master Shallow; deep, Master Shallow.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 118><ACT 3><SCENE 2><51%>
<FALSTAFF>	<52%>
	I would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou mightst mend him, and make him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private soldier that is the leader of so many thousands: let that suffice, most forcible Feeble.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 119><ACT 3><SCENE 2><52%>
<FALSTAFF>	<52%>
	I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble.
	Who is next?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 120><ACT 3><SCENE 2><52%>
<FALSTAFF>	<52%>
	Yea, marry, let's see Bullcalf.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 121><ACT 3><SCENE 2><52%>
<FALSTAFF>	<52%>
	'Fore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick me Bullcalf till he roar again.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 122><ACT 3><SCENE 2><52%>
<FALSTAFF>	<52%>
	What! dost thou roar before thou art pricked?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 123><ACT 3><SCENE 2><52%>
<FALSTAFF>	<52%>
	What disease hast thou?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 124><ACT 3><SCENE 2><52%>
<FALSTAFF>	<52%>
	Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown; we will have away thy cold; and I will take such order that thy friends shall ring for thee. Is here all?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 125><ACT 3><SCENE 2><52%>
<FALSTAFF>	<52%>
	Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 126><ACT 3><SCENE 2><52%>
<FALSTAFF>	<53%>
	No more of that, good Master Shallow, no more of that.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 127><ACT 3><SCENE 2><52%>
<FALSTAFF>	<53%>
	She lives, Master Shallow.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 128><ACT 3><SCENE 2><53%>
<FALSTAFF>	<53%>
	Never, never; she would always say she could not abide Master Shallow.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 129><ACT 3><SCENE 2><53%>
<FALSTAFF>	<53%>
	Old, old, Master Shallow.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 130><ACT 3><SCENE 2><53%>
<FALSTAFF>	<53%>
	We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 131><ACT 3><SCENE 2><54%>
<FALSTAFF>	<54%>
	Come, sir, which men shall I have?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 132><ACT 3><SCENE 2><54%>
<FALSTAFF>	<54%>
<STAGE DIR>
<Aside to Bardolph.>
</STAGE DIR> Go to; well.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 133><ACT 3><SCENE 2><54%>
<FALSTAFF>	<54%>
	Do you choose for me.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 134><ACT 3><SCENE 2><54%>
<FALSTAFF>	<54%>
	Mouldy, and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home till you are past service: and for your part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it: I will none of you.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 135><ACT 3><SCENE 2><54%>
<FALSTAFF>	<54%>
	Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a man? Care I for the limb, the thewes, the stature, bulk, and big assemblance of a man! Give me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here's Wart; you see what a ragged appearance it is: a' shall charge you and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's hammer, come off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer's bucket. And this same half-faced fellow, Shadow, give me this man: he presents no mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great aim level at the edge of a penknife. And, for a retreat; how swiftly will this Feeble the woman's tailor run off! O! give me the spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me a caliver into Wart's hand, Bardolph.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 136><ACT 3><SCENE 2><55%>
<FALSTAFF>	<55%>
	Come, manage me your caliver. So: very well: go to: very good: exceeding good. O, give me always a little, lean, old, chopp'd, bald shot. Well said, i' faith, Wart; thou'rt a good scab: hold, there's a tester for thee.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 137><ACT 3><SCENE 2><55%>
<FALSTAFF>	<55%>
	These fellows will do well, Master Shallow. God keep you, Master Silence: I will not use many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen both: I thank you: I must a dozen mile to-night. Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 138><ACT 3><SCENE 2><55%>
<FALSTAFF>	<56%>
	'Fore God I would you would, Master Shallow.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 139><ACT 3><SCENE 2><56%>
<FALSTAFF>	<56%>
	Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. 
<STAGE DIR>
<Exeunt Shallow and Silence.>
</STAGE DIR>
	 On, Bardolph; lead the men away. 
<STAGE DIR>
<Exeunt Bardolph, Recruits, &c.>
</STAGE DIR> 
	As I return, I will fetch off these justices: I do see the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord! how subject we old men are to this vice of lying. This same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath done about Turnbull Street; and every third word a lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk's tribute. I do remember him at Clement's Inn like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring: when a' was naked he was for all the world like a forked radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife: a' was so forlorn that his dimensions to any thick sight were invincible: a' was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkey, and the whores called him mandrake: a' came ever in the rearward of the fashion and sung those tunes to the over-scutched huswives that he heard the carmen whistle, and sware they were his fancies or his good-nights. And now is this Vice's dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly of John a Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother to him; and I'll be sworn a' never saw him but once in the Tilt-yard, and then he burst his head for crowding among the marshal's men. I saw it and told John a Gaunt he beat his own name; for you might have thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a court; and now has he land and beefs. Well, I will be acquainted with him, if I return; and it shall go hard but I will make him a philosopher's two stones to me. If the young dace be a bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him. Let time shape, and there an end.
<STAGE DIR>
<Exit.>
</STAGE DIR>

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 140><ACT 4><SCENE 3><67%>
<FALSTAFF>	<68%>
	What's your name, sir? of what condition are you, and of what place, I pray?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 141><ACT 4><SCENE 3><67%>
<FALSTAFF>	<68%>
	Well then, Colevile is your name, a knight is your degree, and your place the dale: Colevile shall still be your name, a traitor your degree, and the dungeon your place, a place deep enough; so shall you be still Colevile of the dale.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 142><ACT 4><SCENE 3><68%>
<FALSTAFF>	<68%>
	As good a man as he, sir, whoe'er I am. Do ye yield, sir, or shall I sweat for you? If I do sweat, they are the drops of thy lovers, and they weep for thy death: therefore rouse up fear and trembling, and do observance to my mercy.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 143><ACT 4><SCENE 3><68%>
<FALSTAFF>	<68%>
	I have a whole school of tongues in this belly of mine, and not a tongue of them all speaks any other word but my name. An I had but a belly of any indifferency, I were simply the most active fellow in Europe: my womb, my womb, my womb undoes me. Here comes our general.

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 144><ACT 4><SCENE 3><68%>
<FALSTAFF>	<69%>
	I would be sorry, my lord, but it should be thus: I never knew yet but rebuke and check was the reward of valour. Do you think me a swallow, an arrow, or a bullet? have I, in my poor and old motion, the expedition of thought? I have speeded hither with the very extremest inch of possibility; I have foundered nine score and odd posts; and here, travel-tainted as I am, have, in my pure and immaculate valour, taken Sir John Colevile of the dale, a most furious knight and valorous enemy. But what of that? he saw me, and yielded; that I may justly say with the hook-nosed fellow of Rome, 'I came, saw, and overcame.'
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 145><ACT 4><SCENE 3><69%>
<FALSTAFF>	<69%>
	I know not: here he is, and here I yield him; and I beseech your Grace, let it be booked with the rest of this day's deeds; or, by the Lord, I will have it in a particular ballad else, with mine own picture on the top on't, Colevile kissing my foot. To the which course if I be enforced, if you do not all show like gilt two-pences to me, and I in the clear sky of fame o'ershine you as much as the full moon doth the cinders of the element, which show like pins' heads to her, believe not the word of the noble. Therefore let me have right, and let desert mount.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 146><ACT 4><SCENE 3><69%>
<FALSTAFF>	<69%>
	Let it shine then.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 147><ACT 4><SCENE 3><69%>
<FALSTAFF>	<69%>
	Let it do something, my good lord, that may do me good, and call it what you will.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 148><ACT 4><SCENE 3><69%>
<FALSTAFF>	<70%>
	And a famous true subject took him.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 149><ACT 4><SCENE 3><69%>
<FALSTAFF>	<70%>
	I know not how they sold themselves: but thou, like a kind fellow, gavest thyself away gratis, and I thank thee for thee.

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 150><ACT 4><SCENE 3><70%>
<FALSTAFF>	<70%>
	My lord, I beseech you, give me leave to go,
	Through Gloucestershire, and when you come to court
	Stand my good lord, pray, in your good report.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 151><ACT 4><SCENE 3><70%>
<FALSTAFF>	<70%>
	I would you had but the wit: 'twere better than your dukedom. Good faith, this same young sober-blooded boy doth not love me; nor a man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel, he drinks no wine. There's never none of these demure boys come to any proof; for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood, and making many fish-meals, that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness; and then, when they marry, they get wenches. They are generally fools and cowards, which some of us should be too but for inflammation. A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me into the brain; dries me there all the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble fiery and delectable shapes; which, deliver'd o'er to the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second property of your excellent sherris is, the warming of the blood; which, before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice: but the sherris warms it and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extreme. It illumineth the face, which, as a beacon, gives warning to all the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their captain, the heart, who, great and puffed up with this retinue, doth any deed of courage; and this valour comes of sherris. So that skill in the weapon is nothing without sack, for that sets it a-work; and leaining, a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil till sack commences it and sets it in act and use. Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the cold blood he did naturally inherit of his father, he hath, like lean, sterile, and bare land, manured, husbanded, and tilled, with excellent endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris, that he is become very hot and valiant. If I had a thousand sons, the first human principle I would teach them should be, to forswear thin potations and to addict themselves to sack.

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 152><ACT 4><SCENE 3><71%>
<FALSTAFF>	<72%>
	Let them go. I'll through Gloucestershire; and there will I visit Master Robert Shallow, esquire: I have him already tempering between my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I seal with him. Come away.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 153><ACT 5><SCENE 1><83%>
<FALSTAFF>	<83%>
	You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 154><ACT 5><SCENE 1><84%>
<FALSTAFF>	<85%>
	I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow. <STAGE DIR>
<Exit Shallow.> 
</STAGE DIR>
	Bardolph, look to our horses. 
<STAGE DIR>
<Exeunt Bardolph and Page.>
</STAGE DIR> 
	If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four dozen of such bearded hermit's staves as Master Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his: they, by observing him, do bear themselves like foolish justices; he, by conversing with them, is turned into a justice-like serving-man. Their spirits are so married in conjunction with the participation of society that they flock together in consent, like so many wild-geese. If I had a suit to Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the imputation of being near their master: if to his men, I would curry with Master Shallow that no man could better command his servants. It is certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is caught, as men take diseases, one of another: therefore let men take heed of their company. I will devise matter enough out of this Shallow to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of six fashions,—which is four terms, or two actions,—and a' shall laugh without intervallums. O! it is much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest with a sad brow will do with a fellow that never had the ache in his shoulders. O! you shall see him laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 155><ACT 5><SCENE 1><85%>
<FALSTAFF>	<86%>
	I come, Master Shallow: I come, Master Shallow.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 156><ACT 5><SCENE 3><90%>
<FALSTAFF>	<91%>
	'Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling, and a rich.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 157><ACT 5><SCENE 3><90%>
<FALSTAFF>	<91%>
	This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your serving-man and your husband.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 158><ACT 5><SCENE 3><90%>
<FALSTAFF>	<91%>
	There's a merry heart! Good Master Silence, I'll give you a health for that anon.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 159><ACT 5><SCENE 3><91%>
<FALSTAFF>	<91%>
	I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this mettle.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 160><ACT 5><SCENE 3><91%>
<FALSTAFF>	<92%>
	Well said, Master Silence.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 161><ACT 5><SCENE 3><91%>
<FALSTAFF>	<92%>
	Health and long life to you, Master Silence.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 162><ACT 5><SCENE 3><92%>
<FALSTAFF>	<92%>
<STAGE DIR>
<To Silence, who drinks a bumper.>
</STAGE DIR>
	Why, now you have done me right.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 163><ACT 5><SCENE 3><92%>
<FALSTAFF>	<93%>
	'Tis so.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 164><ACT 5><SCENE 3><92%>
<FALSTAFF>	<93%>
	From the court! let him come in.

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 165><ACT 5><SCENE 3><92%>
<FALSTAFF>	<93%>
	What wind blew you hither, Pistol?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 166><ACT 5><SCENE 3><92%>
<FALSTAFF>	<93%>
	I prithee now, deliver them like a man of this world.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 167><ACT 5><SCENE 3><93%>
<FALSTAFF>	<93%>
	O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
	Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 168><ACT 5><SCENE 3><93%>
<FALSTAFF>	<94%>
	What! is the old king dead?
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 169><ACT 5><SCENE 3><93%>
<FALSTAFF>	<94%>
	Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 170><ACT 5><SCENE 3><93%>
<FALSTAFF>	<94%>
	Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt, I am Fortune's steward. Get on thy boots: we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph! <STAGE DIR>
<Exit Bardolph.>
</STAGE DIR> Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and, withal devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow: I know the young king is sick for me. Let us take any man's horses; the laws of England are at my commandment. Happy are they which have been my friends, and woe unto my lord chief justice!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 171><ACT 5><SCENE 5><95%>
<FALSTAFF>	<96%>
	Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow; I will make the king do you grace. I will leer upon him, as a' comes by; and do but mark the countenance that he will give me.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 172><ACT 5><SCENE 5><95%>
<FALSTAFF>	<96%>
	Come here, Pistol; stand behind me. O! if I had had time to have made new liveries, I would have bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of you. But 'tis no matter; this poor show doth better: this doth infer the zeal I had to see him.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 173><ACT 5><SCENE 5><96%>
<FALSTAFF>	<96%>
	It shows my earnestness of affection.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 174><ACT 5><SCENE 5><96%>
<FALSTAFF>	<96%>
	My devotion.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 175><ACT 5><SCENE 5><96%>
<FALSTAFF>	<96%>
	As it were, to ride day and night; and not to deliberate, not to remember, not to have patience to shift me.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 176><ACT 5><SCENE 5><96%>
<FALSTAFF>	<96%>
	But to stand stained with travel, and sweating with desire to see him; thinking of nothing else; putting all affairs else in oblivion, as if there were nothing else to be done but to see him.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 177><ACT 5><SCENE 5><96%>
<FALSTAFF>	<97%>
	I will deliver her.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 178><ACT 5><SCENE 5><96%>
<FALSTAFF>	<97%>
	God save thy grace, King Hal! my royal Hal!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 179><ACT 5><SCENE 5><96%>
<FALSTAFF>	<97%>
	God save thee, my sweet boy!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 180><ACT 5><SCENE 5><97%>
<FALSTAFF>	<97%>
	My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 181><ACT 5><SCENE 5><97%>
<FALSTAFF>	<98%>
	Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pound.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 182><ACT 5><SCENE 5><97%>
<FALSTAFF>	<98%>
	That can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not you grieve at this: I shall be sent for in private to him. Look you, he must seem thus to the world. Fear not your advancements; I will be the man yet that shall make you great.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 183><ACT 5><SCENE 5><98%>
<FALSTAFF>	<98%>
	Sir, I will be as good as my word: this that you heard was but a colour.
</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 184><ACT 5><SCENE 5><98%>
<FALSTAFF>	<98%>
	Fear no colours: go with me to dinner. Come, Lieutenant Pistol; come, Bardolph: I shall be sent for soon at night.

</FALSTAFF>

<SPEECH 185><ACT 5><SCENE 5><98%>
<FALSTAFF>	<98%>
	My lord, my lord!
</FALSTAFF>

