<SPEECH 1><ACT 1><SCENE 2><9%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<11%>
	Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late:
	The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit,
	The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell;
	My mistress made it one upon my cheek:
	She is so hot because the meat is cold;
	The meat is cold because you come not home;
	You come not home because you have no stomach;
	You have no stomach, having broke your fast;
	But we, that know what 'tis to fast and pray,
	Are penitent for your default to-day.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 2><ACT 1><SCENE 2><10%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<11%>
	O!—sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last
	To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper;
	The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 3><ACT 1><SCENE 2><10%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<12%>
	I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner.
	I from my mistress come to you in post;
	If I return, I shall be post indeed,
	For she will score your fault upon my pate.
	Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock
	And strike you home without a messenger.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 4><ACT 1><SCENE 2><10%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<12%>
	To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 5><ACT 1><SCENE 2><11%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<12%>
	My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
	Home to your house, the Phœnix, sir, to dinner:
	My mistress and her sister stays for you.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 6><ACT 1><SCENE 2><11%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<13%>
	I have some marks of yours upon my pate,
	Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders,
	But not a thousand marks between you both.
	If I should pay your worship those again,
	Perchance you will not bear them patiently.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 7><ACT 1><SCENE 2><11%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<13%>
	Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phœnix;
	She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,
	And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 8><ACT 1><SCENE 2><12%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<13%>
	What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands!
	Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 9><ACT 2><SCENE 1><15%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<17%>
	Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 10><ACT 2><SCENE 1><15%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<17%>
	Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear.
	Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 11><ACT 2><SCENE 1><15%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<17%>
	Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his blows; and withal so doubtfully, that I could scarce understand them.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 12><ACT 2><SCENE 1><16%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<17%>
	Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 13><ACT 2><SCENE 1><16%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<17%>
	I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, he is stark mad.
	When I desir'd him to come home to dinner,
	He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold:
	''Tis dinner time,' quoth I; 'my gold!' quoth he:
	'Your meat doth burn,' quoth I; 'my gold!' quoth he:
	'Will you come home?' quoth I: 'my gold!' quoth he:
	'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?'
	'The pig,' quoth I, 'is burn'd;' 'my gold!' quoth he:
	'My mistress, sir,' quoth I: 'hang up thy mistress!
	I know not thy mistress: out on thy mistress!'
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 14><ACT 2><SCENE 1><16%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<18%>
	Quoth my master:
	'I know,' quoth he, 'no house, no wife, no mistress.'
	So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
	I thank him, I bear home upon my shoulders;
	For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 15><ACT 2><SCENE 1><17%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<18%>
	Go back again, and be new beaten home?
	For God's sake, send some other messenger.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 16><ACT 2><SCENE 1><17%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<19%>
	And he will bless that cross with other beating:
	Between you, I shall have a holy head.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 17><ACT 2><SCENE 1><17%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<19%>
	Am I so round with you as you with me,
	That like a football you do spurn me thus?
	You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither:
	If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 18><ACT 3><SCENE 1><31%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<33%>
	Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know;
	That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show:
	If the skin were parchment and the blows you gave were ink,
	Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 19><ACT 3><SCENE 1><32%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<33%>
	Marry, so it doth appear
	By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.
	I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass,
	You would keep from my heels and beware of an ass.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 20><ACT 3><SCENE 1><33%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<34%>
	Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Ginn!
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 21><ACT 3><SCENE 1><33%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<34%>
	What patch is made our porter?—My master stays in the street.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 22><ACT 3><SCENE 1><34%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<35%>
	O villain! thou hast stolen both mine office and my name:
	The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
	If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place,
	Thou wouldst have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 23><ACT 3><SCENE 1><34%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<36%>
	Let my master in, Luce.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 24><ACT 3><SCENE 1><35%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<36%>
	O Lord! I must laugh.
	Have at you with a proverb: Shall I set in my staff?
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 25><ACT 3><SCENE 1><35%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<36%>
	So come, help: well struck! there was blow for blow.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 26><ACT 3><SCENE 1><35%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<37%>
	Master, knock the door hard.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 27><ACT 3><SCENE 1><36%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<37%>
	If you went in pain, master, this 'knave' would go sore.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 28><ACT 3><SCENE 1><36%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<37%>
	They stand at the door, master: bid them welcome hither.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 29><ACT 3><SCENE 1><37%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<38%>
	You would say so, master, if your garments were thin.
	Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in the cold:
	It would make a man mad as a buck to be so bought and sold.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 30><ACT 3><SCENE 1><37%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<38%>
	A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind:
	Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 31><ACT 3><SCENE 1><37%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<38%>
	Here's too much 'out upon thee!' I pray thee, let me in.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 32><ACT 3><SCENE 1><38%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<39%>
	A crow without feather? Master, mean you so?
	For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a feather:
	If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 33><ACT 4><SCENE 1><51%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<52%>
	I buy a thousand pound a year: I buy a rope!
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 34><ACT 4><SCENE 4><67%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<67%>
	Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 35><ACT 4><SCENE 4><67%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<68%>
	Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 36><ACT 4><SCENE 4><67%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<68%>
	I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 37><ACT 4><SCENE 4><67%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<68%>
	To a rope's end, sir; and to that end am I return'd.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 38><ACT 4><SCENE 4><67%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<68%>
	Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 39><ACT 4><SCENE 4><67%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<68%>
	Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 40><ACT 4><SCENE 4><68%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<68%>
	I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 41><ACT 4><SCENE 4><68%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<68%>
	I am an ass indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep; raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 42><ACT 4><SCENE 4><69%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<69%>
	Mistress, respice finem, respect your end; or rather, to prophesy like the parrot, 'Beware the rope's end.'
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 43><ACT 4><SCENE 4><70%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<71%>
	Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 44><ACT 4><SCENE 4><70%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<71%>
	Perdy, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 45><ACT 4><SCENE 4><71%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<71%>
	Sans fable, she herself revil'd you there.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 46><ACT 4><SCENE 4><71%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<71%>
	Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 47><ACT 4><SCENE 4><71%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<71%>
	In verity you did: my bones bear witness,
	That since have felt the vigour of his rage.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 48><ACT 4><SCENE 4><71%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<72%>
	Money by me! heart and good will you might;
	But surely, master, not a rag of money.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 49><ACT 4><SCENE 4><72%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<72%>
	God and the rope-maker bear me witness
	That I was sent for nothing but a rope!
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 50><ACT 4><SCENE 4><72%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<73%>
	And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold;
	But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 51><ACT 4><SCENE 4><74%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<74%>
	Master, I am here enter'd in bond for you.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 52><ACT 4><SCENE 4><74%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<74%>
	Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master; cry, 'the devil!'
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 53><ACT 5><SCENE 1><91%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<92%>
	Sir, he din'd with her there, at the Porpentine.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 54><ACT 5><SCENE 1><91%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<92%>
	Within this hour I was his bondman, sir;
	But he, I thank him, gnaw'd in two my cords:
	Now am I Dromio and his man, unbound.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 55><ACT 5><SCENE 1><92%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<93%>
	Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you;
	For lately we were bound, as you are now.
	You are not Pinch's patient, are you, sir?
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 56><ACT 5><SCENE 1><92%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<93%>
	No, trust me, sir, not I.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 57><ACT 5><SCENE 1><92%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<93%>
	Ay, sir; but I am sure I do not; and whatsoever a man denies, you are now bound to believe him.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 58><ACT 5><SCENE 1><94%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<95%>
	I, sir, am Dromio: pray let me stay.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 59><ACT 5><SCENE 1><96%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<96%>
	And I with him.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 60><ACT 5><SCENE 1><97%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<97%>
	No, none by me.
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 61><ACT 5><SCENE 1><99%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<99%>
	Methinks you are my glass, and not my brother:
	I see by you I am a sweet-fac'd youth.
	Will you walk in to see their gossiping?
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 62><ACT 5><SCENE 1><99%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<100%>
	That's a question: how shall we try it?
</DROMIO EPH.>

<SPEECH 63><ACT 5><SCENE 1><99%>
<DROMIO EPH.>	<100%>
	Nay, then, thus:
	We came into the world like brother and brother;
	And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another.
</DROMIO EPH.>

